I want to chat about something that has been on my mind a lot this week, not so much a rant but more a sadness at how women treat each other online, let’s call it cyber-bullying, and particularly mothers.
Something I see happen almost daily is criticism, judgment, and downright bullying happen on the posts of women, and the trolling comes from other women (read moms). And to be honest, I’m appalled, it makes me really sad to see how so many women are so quick to critique the life of another.
This morning a saw a post of a woman who shared an image of her an her little family having arrived at their vacation destination- my first impression was how happy and excited they all looked despite having been on a plane for all those hours, with a tot, and probably jet lagged. The mom wrote about their flight with almost 2 year old and how well things went, but the car seat rental company had sent a faulty seat and they were hoping it wasn’t going to set the tone for their family vacay (she did mention that they had contacted the co and a new seat was being delivered to the airport). I empathized.
Then I started reading the comments. The first few that I read (there were over 1000) were other moms totally attacking this women for; not having the seat fitted, having her child front facing, her child being too young to not be rear facing, having her child incorrectly fastened in the chair, an Instagram image being more important than the safety of her child, being ill-informed, and for being a bad mother (I toned it down) for putting her child’s life in jeapordy. 🤯🙈🤭I cant even imagine how she must have felt reading those comments.
10 years ago when my daughter was still and infant, we had one of the top travel systems available from a big brand. Back then having your child rear or front facing was the parents choice (unless you were putting the in the front passenger seat), and the buckles fastened in the lap of the child – all of the brands were like this. My child was also out of a booster at age 5.
Nowadays, after years of tests, research, and improvements on infant and child car safety, things have changed – fastenings are over the child’s chest, rear facing is preferable, Children are recommended to be in booster seats until ages 8-12. And so we adapt and follow the current safety guidelines.
My point is that things change. And will continue changing. Nothing is static and when it comes to child care and safety, improvements will always be made and new safety recommendations will always continue to be offered. So, I encourage you, the next time you see a mom posting online about something for their child and family, and it doesn’t exactly look how you might do it or know it to be, consider your comment before you post. It’s easy to hide behind the ‘anonymity’ of the online persona. We’re all trying to navigate life, and parents are trying to navigate it for themselves and their kids. Always be kind. Always be patient. And always, always, be compassionate.
And if you honestly feel triggered by her post and have the urge to tell her how to parent her child- keep scrolling.✌️
If this post upset you in any way, consider why. Also, if you’re a mom who regularly feels the need to tell other moms how to parent their child – consider how you’ve made the other person feel. We’re all in this together – and we should be seeking each other for love and support, not judgement and fear.